plz talk dirty to me
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Randomize
