When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just had sex on a roof
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
