after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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