If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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