We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
