If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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