Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
