I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
