she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
