he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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