watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
And then my night got REAL pukey
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
