i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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