I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
