Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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