i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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