her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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