where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
