who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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