butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
