you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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