im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
and you said cock pushups were impossible
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
