Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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