watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
