hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
where am i from again
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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