i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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