There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
