I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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