do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
