This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
