had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Houston, we have a squirter
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
