you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
