Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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