she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
