another moral hangover. fuck.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
