it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
