I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize