you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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