just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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