He uses pillows to masturbate.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
