this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
