I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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