my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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