She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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