Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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