I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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