So drunk, too bad you don't want this
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
