God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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