At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
