just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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