I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
