at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He passed out mid-signature
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
