so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
