If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I fill condoms, not promises.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
