If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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