the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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