Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i would punch a child for taco bell
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
